I have had the greatest honor of meeting the friends I have today.
I am partly thankful that none of them are aware of the existence of this blog of mine, for it would be most embarrassing if any of them were to read this, yet I wish I could convey these feelings as eloquently as I could in person. However I am not a particularly expressive individual and would often stumble over the lack of courage to speak with an open heart.
So here it goes, this message of mine.
I shall first list the names of the cherished individuals in order of our meeting. My secondary school friends: Sandra, Jocelyn, Valerie, Clasandra and Shirley. My Junior College friends: Magdalene and Yiying. My University friends: Faza, Evelyn, Sabrina, Sofia, Kimberly and Hannah.
I have never believed or sought after what I had felt to be gratuitous inclinations towards the need for friends. To me, the very meaning attached to the term 'friendship' was accompanied by feelings of disappointment and betrayal. So I had chosen to enclose myself within the 'safety' confinements of my self-imposed isolation. The implications were severe. I became distrustful, doubtful, reserved and skeptical towards people who tried to approach me. And often, I would judge them.
Yes, I was very judgmental, but only judgmental towards my friends and not towards myself. In effect, I was a self-absorbed, emotional, and highly skeptical individual who held reservations towards forging closer bonds.
In spite of my cold demeanor, however, my secondary school friends had never once given up on me. They had taught me..so much.. so much about the value of friendship.
My Junior College friends, Magdalene and Yiying, were my emotional support and pillar of strength. They had undergone with me the most strenuous and stressful period of any Singaporean academic life. I could still remember the days when we three would share together a smoked salmon sandwich. It was our daily breakfast before flag raising. The time spent with them was so enjoyable that my Junior College life was ridden with more laughter than stress.
Although we have drifted apart today, and I say this with a heavy heart for I am aware that it is of my own doing to have allowed our friendship to break away, I am still very thankful to be a part of their memories. It is an honor to have met them. For my part, I will forever hold the memories of the time spent with them in my heart.
Presently, I am blessed with Mother Mary's good grace to have met my University friends in NUS. We celebrated my 20th birthday today and I was so warmed by their deeds that I had cried. I had cried like the child I was. I did not expect them to go through such lengths to celebrate the birthday of someone they had only met for a few months. Nevertheless they did, and I had the most memorable day.
For someone as undeserving as I am, I must be blessed by Mother Mary to have met the friends I have today. And for that, I am thankful. I am so thankful that just recollecting my memories of them is enough to bring a smile to my face.