I am a mixed bag of emotions right now. Having had a prolonged childhood (16 years of being a Singaporean student!), watching it end elicits a mixture of sadness and happiness. I have been living my life as a student that it seems surreal, almost like a dream to watch my education career end. It seems like my ability to be fully cognizant of my surroundings proceeds at a far slower pace than actual reality. Only now, a few hours after the ceremony has ended, in the morning did I finally grasp my current situation: I have graduated from University! Yesterday officially marked the last day of my undergraduate life!
Yesterday's 2014 commencement at 8 pm was a huge blur. Throngs of people - parents, professors, students, siblings, and friends - crowded the NUS Cultural Centre. The majority, including myself, were rushing through the crowd to find friends and professors to take commemorative pictures. There was a strong desire on our part to capture the moment, a beautiful memory, to serve as important reminders of who we were, what we did, who we met, and what we have accomplished.
I must admit, even though I am not excessively fond of my entire 2014 History cohort, especially the guys who had been acting arrogant and snobbish throughout the year, I will miss them greatly. I deeply treasure my moments, albeit few, with them. Honors year had been tough on us all. Because our grades are mainly based on our ability to gather information and produce a convincing essay, most of us spent days in the school library to source for materials, while a few others camped nights at school.
I could still remember - physically, emotionally and psychologically - the countless days when I had to travel back and fro to the school library to source for books. It was like an academic ritual. I would compile a list of books to read at the library, gather them, and then key in the important information. If I was lucky in my information-gathering, I would then proceed to write my essay. It usually took me around 2 to 3 drafts before I was actually satisfied. If it wasn't the grammar, it was a problem with my sentence structure. If it wasn't the contradicting information, it was the lack of evidence. It was really a love-hate relationship with this routine. I enjoyed the process because it undoubtedly yielded fresh insights, yet it was excruciatingly stressful especially when the dateline was always so near!
Having taken a total of 38 modules, the professor which most deeply impacted me was ironically a new professor who taught a History module called 'Culture and Literature of Southeast Asian History' just last semester. His name was Kelvin L. He was not like any regular professor who would immediately answer a student's question, especially if he thinks it's a good one. After a few daring souls chipped in their two cents, he would then phrase the question in a different angle, and ask even more questions. Most of us would either be left confused or strangely enlightened at this point. The entire point of his module was to get us thinking, to ask questions, even simple ones, and not look obsessively for answers. This is something we were all grateful to learn. Singapore's education system is so grade-driven that the mere knowledge process of being curious, asking questions and responding to them was lost.
After writing countless essays, the essay which I am most proud of was done for my Independent Study module. A mix of anthropology, history, and medicine, this essay was entitled, "Reinventing Neurasthenia in Modern China, 1900-1990." I was supervised by one of my favorite professors called Dr. Dimoia, who is an expert in medicine, science and technology, especially in South Korea. A total of 35 resources (books, journals, and conferences) and 5344 words, I never felt so happy upon completing this essay. It is my baby, my pride and joy, because I managed to conquer so many academic challenges while writing this essay. Reading medical journals about the disease was one thing, finding contradicting facts was another. I almost teared my hair out writing this paper. I am so glad I managed to piece everything together coherently and concisely. I have learnt so much just conducting research on the history of the disease!
Of course my education career was not just about studying, I met friends and my partner for life as well! There is the cute, highly independent and worldly-wise Cheche! The pretty, highly perceptive and mature Yenny! And the boisterous, adventurous, and hardworking Van! Finally, I met my darling Shijie! All of them have deeply impacted me in different ways. I love them all!
I am also very thankful to my history professors, Prof. Lockhart, Dr Brunero, Dr. Dimoia, Kelvin L., Prof. Amos, Prof. Teow, and Prof. Yang Bin. for making NUS an unforgettable learning experience! I will miss them greatly!
Reflecting upon all these now, yesterday did mark the end of my education career. But the learning and growing never ends. I am so grateful for having had the opportunity to study at NUS!